Friday, December 28, 2007

10 Answers of Doom!

Here it is! Muahaha!!!

1. Alex P. Keaton (Family Ties)
2. Death of the Endless (The Sandman)
3. Drizzt do'Urden (Forgotten Realms)
4. Filby Pott (me!)
5. James T. Kirk (Star Trek)
6. Lex Luthor (Superman)
7. Mario (Super Mario Bros.)
8. Sauron (The Lord of the Rings)
9. The Scarecrow (The Wizard of Oz)
10. Wonder Woman (her own comic)

Incidentally, in a dance-off between Death and Sauron, Death wins every time.

From Swinebread (whose blog I really need to start reading regularly 'cause he's gracious enough to read mine):
if 7 did a cooking show would 1 like it?

Are you kidding? Who wouldn't like Cooking with Mario? He's the Mushroom Master! He puts the "fun" in "fungus!"

From Ami (who totally made this meme worthwhile -- thanks!!!):
If 2, 3 and 6 were turned into Dinosaurs (they still have their intelligence), what Dinosaurs would they be? Who would be eaten first and who would most likely survive past the initial meteor impact and why? :o

Drizzt would be a dromaeosaur (raptor) of some sort, because they're graceful, deadly, and incredibly overhyped. Lex would be a tyrannosaurus, for obvious reasons. Lex chows down on Drizzt before Death shows up, she being the meteor.

1 wakes up being drawn by Ian Churchill at his worst, is s/he happy about this? xD
So Alex is Power Boy, basically? I don't think he'd mind, though he'd need to do something about that hideous chest-hair.

If 4 and 5 were trapped in a desolate world all by themselves as the last people left, how long would it be until they fell in luff? xD
Um... Jim Kirk might be willing to screw anything with two legs, but I think even he would draw the line at Filby. Like srsly.

7, 8, 9 and 10 play Magic: The Gathering, what colours would each play, what type of decks would each play? :D (this is my favorite question)

Matching their colors up with their personalities, I'd say it'd go thusly:

Mario's deck is white (because of his commitment to duty), with a strong artifact presence ('cause he relies on versatile equipment). He's playing for fun, so his deck doesn't follow any particular archetype.

Sauron's deck is black and white because he's completely self-interested yet wants to rule as the ultimate authority (unlike Yawgmoth, who wanted to destroy his enemies, Sauron wants to rule them). He's playing an aggro deck, maybe something like the "Ghost Husk" archetype, tricked out with lots of expensive rares.

Befitting his great intelligence, the Scarecrow is playing mono-blue. He's got a control deck with lots of counterspells and bounce effects.

Wonder Woman is playing a green deck, because she's both nurturing and super-strong. Her deck is mainly huge creatures, buff effects (Might of Oaks is made for Diana), and maybe some protective effects like high-toughness treefolk and life gain.

(As for the rest of the chars, Alex is white/black, Death is black/green, Drizzt is red/green, Filby is blue/black, Kirk is white/red, and Lex is black.)

Who would be ultimately the best player of all 4 in your opinion? (considering stuff like money to spend on cards, creativity, intelligence, guile, etc) :D

Sauron has the most resources at his disposal and is incredibly, um, guilesome, not to mention aggressive, so he's probably the best player. Diana and the Scarecrow would give him a real run for his money, though.

If they had a 4 way match and 8 could pick one format to play, what would s/he choose?

Sauron would choose to play in Vintage Format, 'cause it lets him use his Black Lotus, set of five Moxen, Demonic Tutor, and Necropotence.

Imagine all of your characters had been turned into babies (this idea was given to me by a friend who wants to be known only as a green dinosaur xD) but retain their general intelligence but are subject to the emotional states and instincts of babies :D

Who is the first person to want to find a "cure"? Who is most likely to be the one okay with staying this way? Does nebody WANT to stay this way?

Drizzt would be the first to set out looking for a cure, 'cause he's that kind of heroic type, while Luthor's pride won't let him stay that way, prompting him to help the elf. Mario would rather be an adult, but given that he's saved the Mushroom at least once while in diapers, he can get along. Death would probably enjoy the time off from her responsibilities, but would want to get back to normal.

Would any try to act like things haven't changed and try to find a way to adapt to their normal life? xD

Baby Alex would continue carrying around a mini briefcase and Wall Street Journal, yes.

Who is the first one to cry? :o


Who is the first one spanked? >.>


What would be each one's favourite toy? :D

Alex: Wall Street Journal: Tiny Tots Edition.
Death: Kid's gardening kit.
Drizzt: Toy sword. Two of 'em.
Filby: Jar of paste.
Kirk: Plastic rocket.
Lex: Pastel blue death ray.
Mario: Game Boy of course!
Sauron: My First Artifact of Ultimate Doom.
Scarecrow: Blackboard and chalk.
Wonder Woman: Golden jump rope of truth.

Imagine their first day of preschool, what does each one do? xD

Alex: Convinces the cafeteria to stop taking lunch vouchers. No pinko social programs in his school!
Death: Plays nice with Diana and takes care of the class hamster.
Drizzt: Beats up some bullies.
Filby: Sulks in the corner 'cause Lex gets away with everything and he doesn't.
Kirk: Kisses Diana on the playground and gets slapped three zip codes away.
Lex: Stages a hostile takeover of the principal's office.
Mario: Helps Drizzt out.
Sauron: Starts building his power base to conquer the day care across the street by corrupting nine other kids with cursed pacifiers of doom.
Scarecrow: Astounds the teacher with his l33t math skillz.
Wonder Woman: Plays with Death then joins in with Drizzt and Mario.

4 has a date with 6's mother. Creepy? Not creepy? xD 8 finds out, does s/he tell 6? 8 finds out regardless, is s/he happy about this? 4 marries 8's mother and becomes 8's parent now, how is their relationship? XD

An evil, wrinkly old hobbit dating Lex Luthor's mother. That about sets the bar for creepy.

Sauron tells Lex, yes, because he fucking hates hobbits.

Um... Sauron doesn't have a mother. He's older than the universe. Unless you meant "6" in the second half in the question, in which case Lex is pretty pissed off to have a lame-ass shadow of himself as his pop-in-law, though he might warm up when he realizes how useful Filbs can be in scheming.

1 and 10 are presidential candidates, which party would each run for? (they can't both run for the same party) Out of 3 and 9, who would each choose for their running mate? Out of their supporting casts (of those 4 characters), who would they choose for a potential secretary of defence, attorney general, surgeon general and secretary of state? xD

Alex P. Keaton vs. Wonder Woman? I can see that. Obviously Alex is a Republican. Diana would prefer to run for the Green Party, but would run as a Democrat out of practicality.

Alex chooses the Scarecrow as his running mate, whose rustic ways endear him to midwestern voters while his considerable intellect gives him clout among the Wall Street elite. Given that his family is mostly liberal, he instead chooses his cabinet from among the Scarecrow's circle of friends: Secretary of Defense Omby Amby (he's a one-man army!), Attorney General H. M. Wogglebug, Surgeon General Nick Chopper (any man who can chop off his own limbs and replace them all, including his head, with tin prosthetics must have one hell of a head for medicine), and Secretary of State Dorothy Gale. (We'll pretend that non-Americans, non-humans, and royalty/nobility are allowed to run.)

Diana's running mate is Drizzt do'Urden (who is almost as pretty as she is, natch), who provides Bruenor Battlehammer as Secretary of State, netting Diana both the elven and dwarven votes (heh). The rest of her cabinet: Secretary of Defense Steve Trevor, Attorney General Regis Rumblebelly, and Surgeon General Etta Candy (whose constitution always has room for a few amendments).

Who would win a presidential debate? Who would voters most resonate with and why? :o What would the news media say about them? Would each focus more on issues or attacking the other side? :D

Diana's the better and more charismatic debater, but the fact that she's a pagan feminist turns off a lot of people. Needless to say, Fox News savages her. Alex would be more comfortable taking pot-shots at her, but they'd both stick to the issues for the most part.

Would any of those 4 appear on the Colbert Report or Daily Show? xD

Alex and Diana both have a pretty good sense of humor (though Diana's is more understated), so sure, they'd both go on either show. Scarecrow wouldn't hesitate to go on either, but Drizzt's too retiring to do so.

Ultimately who would win and how close would it be? Would the votes be divided by certain demographics or regions?

Alex would win, mainly because of his greater experience in politics, his "traditional values" campaign, and his down-home image. The fact that Diana is way more progressive than the Democratic mainline doesn't help, sadly; she really only makes strong headway in New England and California.

Do you think the winner would be good for America? :D How long until they're impeached, and why (if at all)? xD

Alex isn't the worst that could happen. Imagine Ronald Reagan without the senility, heartlessness toward minorities and the disadvantaged, fundamentalist rhetoric, and foreign scandals, basically. And a lot prettier. And with a laugh track. But just as many jelly beans. Heck, he'd probably be the best Republican president since Eisenhower. I'd still vote for Diana, though.

Diana goes on to successfully run for governor in Massachusetts, introducing sweeping and widely popular reforms in health care, gay rights, and environmental protection. She plans on shooting for the presidency again in 2012. Or 2016. Or 2020. She's immortal, she can wait.

2 and 5 get into a heated argument about something they believe differently in that comes to blows. What were they most likely arguing about? 7 comes in, does s/he pick a side or try to mediate or just turn around and leave? Who would most likely resort to personal attacks first? xD

I really can't see Death and Kirk getting into a fight like that. They're both pretty easygoing. Mario would probably side with Kirk, though.

From Tricia (who came unlooked-for out of the e-ther!):
All ten enter a dancing competition. Who pairs up with who (given that 4 and 5 are a pairing) and which partnership wins?

Filby and Kirk: Filby's lame in one leg, so they're first to be disqualified.
Alex and Diana: To show there's no hard feelings off the political field.
Death and Scarecrow: He's offbeat, and she likes that.
Lex and Sauron: Great evil minds dance alike?
Drizzt and Mario: They got picked last. :(

Alex and Diana win.

Odds and evens are split into two teams and placed on a deserted island/planet/whatever where they have to make use of natural resources and are told they are in competition with the other team for a fantabulous prize. Who wins?

Team one: Death, Filby, Lex, Sauron, and Diana.
Team two: Alex, Drizzt, Kirk, Mario, and the Scarecrow.

I'd say team one has the best thinkers of the bunch, but infighting between Lex, Sauron, and da Filb tears them apart, letting the more well-rounded team two win.

Thanks guys! That was fun!!! :D


Tricia said...


Whoops, hi. I liked a lot of the comments you were making over Ami's way so thought I'd track you back to the source. Thanks for answering my questions!

Will "Filby" Staples said...

You're welcome!