Friday, December 21, 2007

Ten Comic Book Characters I Don't Particularly Like

Apparently there was a meme on LiveJournal this past week to list 10 characters from comics you hate. I missed out on that, but being disgracefully late never stopped me from getting involved in a meme!

Note that I really don't hate many characters (except for #4, whom I don't really see as redeemable), and there are rare instances when I find even these sad sacks interesting, but in general they just bore me and/or piss me off.

1. Spider-Man
Yes, Spider-Man. To be fair, it's not really Spidey I have a problem with so much as the editors mandating his life's direction. It's just one insipid tragedy after another. The poor shmo isn't allowed to be happy for even a moment. Instead it's just angst, angst, angst. NO THANKS. I'll be over here reading my happy, hope-inspiring Superman comics, thankyouverymuch...

2. Green Arrow
I dislike Green Arrow for the same reason I dislike Michael Moore: He claims to speak for the same political ideals I do, but at the end of the day he's just an obnoxious rich white guy with a chip on his shoulder. They both just end up making me look worse.

3. Egg Fu
He's Fu Manchu as a giant yellow egg. We couldn't have just left him buried back in the Silver Age where he belongs? I wish that when they reintroduced him last year they could at least have purged him of all his Yellow Peril elements and made him completely alien, but no, he may not have the moustache anymore but he's still "Chang Tzu," the living embodiment of the "inscrutable East" stereotype.

4. Mother of Champions
In the same vein as the above... Yeah, she's appeared for no more than two or three panels over a year ago, but the very fact that a Chinese woman whose super-power is having lots of babies so much as exists pisses me off.

5. Catwoman
The "femme fatale" thing never really interested me all that much. That's pretty much all I have to say.

6. Sally Floyd
...on general principle.

7. Orion
I'm one of those people who doesn't worship the warrior archetype, and as such Orion holds little to no interest for me. Mister Miracle is so much more interesting, or at least he was before Jim Starlin stuffed his wife into a fridge.

8. Major Force
Speaking of fridges!

9. Bigby Wolf
I don't hate him so much as I'm incredibly tired of how Bill Willingham constantly uses him as a mouthpiece for his political views. "Operation: Israel" my ass.

10. Jean Grey
Stay dead, already!

Honorable Mention:
11. Wolverine
Yeah, he's an obnoxious manly-man prick and he pretty much singlehandedly killed the concept of the "cape," but his gruff obnoxiousness makes his brief humanizing moments that much more effective (and the parodies more hilarious). So he manages to stay off the list.


Swinebread said...

I really like the late 70s early 80s Spiderman. He had some angst but he also made a lot of jokes back then. Some of his personal life foul-ups were kinda funny. I’m definitely not a fan of Spidey from the 90s or now at all.

I'll have to think about my list

Ami Angelwings said...

I think the chinese "superheroes" in DC need a list of their own >.<;; Some of them are pretty bad

Will "Filby" Staples said...

No kidding. Lesse...

Accomplished Perfect Physician: I actually liked him because they gave him a distinct personality and backstory, but there's a bit of the "Old Asian Master"/Mister Miyagi about him that I don't like.

The Atom: I really like Ryan Choi, though the earlier issues wavered between portraying him as too stereotypically Chinese and as just a white American guy with a Chinese name. I think he straightened out around the Time Pool arc.

August General in Iron: Typical inflexible, inscrutable "Asian" guy. I like his relationship with Fox, tho', 'cause it humanizes him and averts both the "sexless Asian guy" and "oversexed effeminate Asian guy" stereotypes.

Celestial Archer: Not a bad concept, but he's got a silly name and an embarrassing costume.

Egg Fu: See above.

Immortal Man in Darkness: Not a bad concept, but the faceless mask dehumanizes him.

Jade Fox Killer: Dragon Lady alert! I like her romance with the General, though, since it gives her depth.

Mother of Champions: See above.

Seven Deadly Brothers: Like MoC, another "hero" built entirely from the overpopulation stereotype.

Shaolin Robot: Cool idea, stupid name.

Socialist Red Guardsman: Aside from his stereotypical name and red-star-emblazoned suit, he's basically the Chinese Captain Atom.

Thundermind: The obligatory Eastern Mystic character.

That guy from Checkmate: You know, the General's predecessor. Shen, I think. He was only ever there to be the one guy who put his country before the agency, and then received no character development whatsoever.

...yeah, it's a sad lot, except for Ryan. That said, I think that any of them save MoC and Egg Fu could be salvaged with proper character development and a costume redesign.

I also think it's weird that the Great Ten has elven members.

Will "Filby" Staples said...

Gah, ELEVEN members.

There are no elves in the Great Ten. :P

Not that Orlando Bloom would be a poor addition, but the archer makes him redundant. ;P